What research tells us about what it’s like for parents of children who struggle to go to school

I recently came across a powerful piece of research that pulled together nine studies exploring what it’s like to parent a child who can’t go to school because of emotional distress. Unsurprisingly, a lot of what came up will feel very familiar to many families.

Here are the key takeaways:

• It’s important for everyone involved to come to a shared understanding of the child’s needs. Many parents said their child’s difficulties weren’t recognised, or were misinterpreted—especially when anxiety was masked or seen as ‘bad behaviour’. This meant support was often delayed or missed entirely.
• Relationships with schools can be difficult. Some parents said they were blamed or ignored, and that more weight was given to professionals’ views than their own. But when schools listened and worked in partnership, outcomes were much more positive.
• There’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Every child is different, and support needs to be tailored, flexible, and based on a shared understanding of what’s going on.
• The causes of school anxiety are often complex. It’s rarely just one thing. Children may worry about separation, schoolwork, social issues, or changes in routine. Social exclusion and bullying were also common.
• Families are under huge pressure. Many parents were trying to support their child’s emotional wellbeing without enough support themselves—and reported feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and isolated.

If any of this resonates with you, you’re not alone.

That’s exactly why I created School Anxiety Support—to offer practical strategies, emotional reassurance, and a sense of community to families who are navigating all of this.

If you’re looking for your next step, check out the free resources in my blog—or download my free guide:
The 12 Most Important Things to Do if Your Child is Worried About Going to School

Onslow, J., & Cartmell, H. (2025). Understanding the parental experience of emotional barriers to school attendance: a systematic literature review. Educational Psychology in Practice, 41(2), 248–268.