3 things parents of children with school anxiety need to hear.
Jun 23, 2026 Parents of children with school anxiety hear far too much advice and far too little compassion.
They hear, "You just need to make them go in. You're making things worse. Just be firmer."
But I don't think parents need more judgment. The parents I meet aren't giving in, and they're not being too soft, and they're not looking for an easy way out. They're getting up every morning and wondering, "Should I push? Should I back off? And how do I help my child?"
I wish more parents heard:
"I know you're doing your very best with a really difficult situation."
"I know how exhausting this is, and I know how hard you're trying."
And I wish more parents heard, "Let's start by understanding what's making school so hard."
Because there are reasons why children struggle, and there are things that can help. And when you understand what's really going on, it's much easier to decide what to do next.  
If you're not sure what's making school difficult for your child, I've created the free School Anxiety Checklist that can help you start to make sense of it all, and you can download it here, because understanding the problem is often when progress starts.
Want help making sense of your child’s school anxiety?
Download my free School Anxiety Checklist to quickly spot what might be driving your child’s school‑based worries, so you know where they most need support.
You’ll get a simple, parent‑friendly checklist you can use to:
- Get a clearer picture of why school feels so hard
- Spot where your child may need extra support at home and in school
- Feel more confident about what to raise with school staff and professionals
Nicky Odgers
