Does your child have a key adult in school?

 When we think about who helps children in school, we generally think about teachers. But for many children struggling with school anxiety, the most important person in the building isn't always a teacher. It's their key adult. The quiet, often unseen support - the unsung heroes of school anxiety.

For a child experiencing school anxiety, school can feel overwhelming - noisy corridors, busy playgrounds, social pressure, academic expectations.

And when anxiety builds, what that child needs most is one safe person who understands them. Somebody who knows their worries. Somebody who notices when things aren't quite right. And somebody who helps them feel safe enough to keep going. That's where a key adult can make a huge difference.

I've talked to some really inspirational key adults in my work, and the most effective ones do much more than just the occasional check-in.

They might sit down with a young person and really listen, giving them the time and space to talk about what's worrying them. They might do daily check-ins so they can notice early signs of distress and offer support before things escalate. They make it clear that the young person can come and talk to them whenever they need it.

And some will run sessions to help build skills- learning how to manage worries, developing friendships, or recognizing the young person's strengths. Others organise, break, or lunchtime clubs giving anxious students a calmer space away from the busy playground, and they may also work closely with teachers and other school staff sharing what the child finds difficult and helping create support plans that truly meet that young person's needs.

And sometimes the most powerful support is something really simple. Just meeting the child at the start of the day, offering a really warm welcome and helping them settle into school with a familiar, calming routine.

A key adult isn't just a named contact. It's someone who really knows the young person well, listens to them and helps them feel heard. They help children feel safe when they're most worried. They help them feel understood, valued and as if they belong.

And very often these key adults work quietly behind the scenes, many within the SEND department. They may not always be the most visible people in schools, but they are often the ones quietly making the biggest difference.

So if your child is struggling with school anxiety, it might be worth asking their school, is there someone who could become their key adult? Because sometimes the support that changes everything for an anxious child is simply one trusted person who is truly there for them.

And if you're wondering why your young person is struggling so much with school, you can download my free school anxiety checklist here. It's designed to help you think through the different factors that might be playing a role.