They went in yesterday. Why won't they go in today?

 If your child's managed to get back into school after the holidays one day this week, but then the next day they've said, "I just can't do it" , it can be really confusing.  It's really tempting to say something like, "But you managed yesterday. You'll be completely fine today."  

The problem is "you managed fine" doesn't necessarily mean that everything was easy. Your child may have used an absolutely enormous amount of energy just getting through the day. Maybe they managed to keep everything together when they were in school and then just felt exhausted when they got back home. Or something might have happened yesterday that makes going back into school today feel even harder.

So instead of just reminding them that yesterday they did manage to go in, instead try and get really curious. So you might say something like,   "You did manage to get into school yesterday, but today feels much harder. I wonder what's different? " And then just listen.

Maybe there's a particular lesson they're worried about. Maybe a friend was mean to them. Maybe the member of staff who helps them won't be there. Perhaps yesterday they knew exactly what was going to happen, but today feels less predictable. Maybe they've got a lesson today that they really struggle with. Or maybe they're just exhausted from coping from yesterday.

So if school attendance is already feeling really up and down so early in the term, use the difference between the easier and the hard days as information. And that information can give you some really important clues about what might need to be in place to make school feel more manageable.  

If you want a little bit of help thinking about why school might be so tricky for your young person, you can download my free school anxiety checklist.