Why schools may miss the early signs of school anxiety and what parents can do about this

I’ve spoken to lots of teachers about school anxiety and one of the things they tell me is that it can be very difficult to work out whether a child’s attendance difficulties are due to the child being anxious, being ill, or just not wanting to come to school for reasons unrelated to anxiety.  On paper, it sounds like it should be easy for them to tell the difference.  But in reality, things are often not so clear cut. 

An anxious child may have lots of tummy issues or headaches which result in them missing school.  It looks like a physical illness, but the underlying cause is the physical symptoms of stress.  An anxious child may sometimes show difficult and dangerous behaviours at drop off because they are so desperate to escape the feared situation.  To a teacher who does not know your child well, it may look like a behavioural issue, even though you know your child is usually well-behaved at home.  Some children who find the anticipation of getting into school utterly terrifying, can genuinely appear to manage OK when they get into school.  For some of these young people, this is because they mask their anxiety in school. But for other, the anticipation can be much worse than the reality and once in school, they find themselves able to cope provided the necessary supports are in place. 

This can all be very confusing for teachers and may mean that they do not always pick up on the early signs that your child is terrified, even when to you it seems completely obvious what is going on. This is why it’s so important to go and talk to the school staff as soon as possible to explain how your child is feeling. If they don’t understand the real reason why your child if having difficulties attending, they are unlikely to be able to work out the best way to support them. 

We know that the earlier support is put in place to help young people feel less anxious about attending school, the better.  The longer the anxious feelings go on, the harder things can be to resolve. So if your child is showing any signs of anxiety about attending school, even if they are able to regularly attend, it’s really helpful to talk to the school sooner rather than later.