How to support your anxious child cope with uncertainty as they return to school after the holidays

It’s coming up to the end of the holidays but not all children will be looking forward to returning to school.  Points of transitions, such as the start of a new academic year, are often triggers for worries about school to become worse. 

Why is that?

One reason is that transitions can mean a new class, a new school, new teachers, new peers, new rules and new routines.  For some children who struggle with change, that’s a lot of uncertainty to deal with in one go.  If you’re the parent of a child with autism, you’ll probably already have a lot of experience of supporting your child for change.  But it’s not just young people with autism who can find transitions worrying.  Anxiety about new situations is very common. 

So how can you help your child with transitions if they are the sort of child who gets distressed by change?  

• Hopefully your child will have had the chance to visit any new classroom or new school in advance last term. Remind them of that and encourage them to focus on any positive experience they had during that visit.
• Is there anything on the school website that helps them understand what is going to happen in the school day? Things to look for might include pictures of staff, timetabling of lessons, pictures of the buildings, homework expectations and school rules.
• Talk through what is going to happen on the first day of school, such as what equipment they’ll need, what route you might take to school, who will take them and who will collect them. Make sure your child knows all this in advance.
• Do you know anyone who has a child in the school year above who your child could talk to about any new routines? For example, if your child is moving up to secondary, could someone just run through how lunchtimes work.
• If you think your child is going to be very worried about going in, you might think about making contact with the school SENCO and ask if you could bring your child into school for 10 or 15 mins on one of the INSET days before school starts, just so they can familiarise themselves with the environment. Some schools may be able to accommodate this.
• Once term starts, if your child is showing signs of increased worry about attending school, you should try to speak to the class teacher or SENCO as soon as possible to let them know what is happening. They may be able to arrange some additional support to help with the transition to the new school or classroom.  The support they might offer will depend on what your child is worried about but could include things like visual timetables, a quiet space to go during breaks / lunch, opportunities to build a relationship with a key adult or peers, and social stories to explain new routines and rules.

These ideas may not work with some children, especially if they have very high levels of distress or have been out of school for a prolonged period of time.  However, they are worth trying if your child has previously coped in school and is only now showing signs of anxiety as they return to school at the start of a new academic year.  School anxiety can have lots of different causes and difficulties coping with change is just aspect to consider.  

This is the first of a series of short articles about how to support your child with school anxiety.  I will be posting an article every day in the first two weeks that children return to school in the UK after the summer break.